Editor’s note: it was our great pleasure to invite Justin Evans and Celia Costanzo to share their remarks to the WWHS Class 2012 with all of our readers
Justin Evans: Mr. Kyllonen, Honored Guests, Parents & Family, Friends . . . and graduates of the class of 2012: It is my distinct honor to stand before you and speak to you this evening. As you can imagine, I was not the first choice for commencement speaker. The Class of 2012 stared with an exhaustive list of people they wanted to have speak here tonight: Kanye West, Mark Zuckerberg, Kim Kardashian, Bill Gates, the cast of Jersey Shore, were all names tossed around at one point or another. However, none of these people responded to the repeated texts which were sent. Well, that’s not entirely true. Snookie did express some interest but negotiations broke down when it was revealed The Montego Bay’s buffet is not open 24 hours a day.
I am not just a teacher representing the West Wendover faculty, I am also a parent representing in some small way all of the parents and family who have gathered here. I have to admit I feel as if I am graduating in some ways, and I am genuinely excited and at the same time, more than a little nervous.
I have some interesting statistics I’d like to share with you regarding our graduating class:
1. This year’s graduates have a greater knowledge of computers than any class in West Wendover’s history — and can look forward to exciting careers in billing people by mistake.
Well, actually that’s all I’ve got. The simple truth is there are two kinds of graduations speeches in the world. There are the good ones, and there is this one.
Some people look at graduation speeches with disdain. They see the speakers as trying to take one last shot, cram one last lesson into the heads of the graduates before they leave. As if any one piece of advice will mean the difference between a wildly successful life and one filled with regret. You know, “If I had only listened to that old, fat bald guy about being a friend in the workplace, my whole life would have been different.”
What’s worse than thinking one piece of advice could make all the difference? A teacher speaking in front of all of the new graduates pretending that anything he has to say on this night will have any real impact. The truth is your parents are probably listening to what I have to say more than you are, or you are just listening enough to hear if someone mentions your name. Most of you are already gone. You are thinking about the party later on tonight. You are thinking about what you are going to do in a week. Some of you are starting to realize this night is the last night all of you will ever be in the same place at the same time ever again, and that is freaking you out more than just a little bit. Some of you are pretending that you have it all figured out. Well, we all know that isn’t true.
So where does that leave us? This is supposed to be a speech signifying transition, moving forward, a speech of both endings and new beginnings. As far as I can see, it brings us right back to where we started. I am standing in front of you not as a teacher, not as Mr. Evans, but as a parent who is in a way going through this transition with all of you.
As a parent, I want the best for my son, and all of you should realize your parents and family want the best for you. As parents and teachers, we have tried to teach you how to think for yourselves. We have tried to prepare you for what lies ahead for the decisions you will have to make. But like Oscar Wilde once said:
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing truly worth knowing can be taught.
What does that mean? On the surface it means we have to learn things for ourselves. But deeper down, it means we really do determine the circumstances of our lives by the choices we make each day. It means you will succeed or fail based upon the choices you make, and it is through those choices you will be learning for the rest of your life. And please, don’t try to fool yourselves. You will be making a lot of decisions throughout your life, and most will be made all on your own. Some will work out, and some will be mistakes. You are now the person who has to take the lead. We can’t do it for you if you are to have anything close to an authentic and meaningful life.
If you look back over your life so far, you should be able to see the choices you have made and how they have taught you. Receiving a high school diploma tonight itself is the result of choices you made over the past several years, but it does not mark the extent of your learning. Those of you receiving your diploma, as many people here are certain you will soon discover, merely marks the completion of one phase of your life and the beginning of another.
This is usually the point where the graduation speaker tells you a lot of really neat catch phrases and offers you advice. You might be expecting me to say things like, Dare to Dream, or, Follow your passion. And while some would say those things are worth consideration, that’s not why I am here to speak to you. There will always be too many people willing to offer you vague, superficial advice, and far too much time is already spent on mindless self promotion and the inflation of self-esteem. Not nearly enough time is spent on understanding guiding principles such as character, integrity, and gratitude.
Do you really want to impress your family, your professors, and your future employers? Here are seven things to keep in mind which will always score you points:
1. Show up on time.
2. Take responsibility for your own actions.
3. Know the difference between when it is time to listen and learn from those who know, and when you need to take charge and be innovative.
4. Be thankful for the opportunities given to you.
5. Do the work.
6. Don’t settle for just enough to get by.
7. Fight your own fights and learn to enjoy the struggle.
We all need help from time to time, but the people in your life will be much more willing to help you if they know you only ask for help when you truly need it. Hard work, integrity, and determination should never be out of fashion.
Another reason I am trying to avoid talking in platitudes and lofty ideals is because I feel so strongly about you finding your own way. No piece of advice, no ultimatum is going to be the thing to make your future secure. I wish there was a magical phrase that had the power to make everything work out for the best, but I don’t. Everyone here already knows not everything works out the way we’d like it to. Everyone here has experienced failure, pain, and loss. But if you commit yourself to developing principles which set a positive example to those around you, you will be guided to discovering a more important truth than anything which I could communicate in just a few minutes:
There is a joy in doing what is right, what is good. There is pleasure in knowing you are in control of your own life, that you deserve credit for the life you have lived.
So what’s the good news? There is much to admire in your generation. You need to make your youth and natural curiosity your greatest allies. Because you are young, you are resilient. You have the ability to bounce back from personal injury and immense tragedy. You have the ability to wake up the next morning and see the world in a slightly different light. Your minds have not been made up. You have the ability to look at evidence without bias and prejudice. I am not saying you do that all the time now, but you still have a greater capacity for accepting change than previous.
As Alvin Toffler said:
“The illiterate of the 21st Century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and re-learn.”
Innovation and change is a young person’s game, and while you are still young, you owe it to yourself to challenge yourself and what you believe. For the first time in your lives you will have not only the unfettered opportunity to do this, you have the perfect right to explore your own beliefs and what those beliefs mean. Take advantage of all your rights and make sure you help to ensure the rights of others as you move forward.
I have spent a lot of time up here talking about the very things I tried avoiding. I will wish you the best of luck for the future, but close with a very specific challenge:
Come back to us in five years and tell us what you have learned. Tell us about the things you have learned which we did not teach you when you were here. Tell us about the things you weren’t ready to learn while you were here. Tell us what you learned which was impossible to anticipate. Tell us about that one thing, the thing we could never have taught you which has made all of the difference.
_______________________
To the Senior Class of 2012
I want to let you know how very proud I am that you have made it!!
Graduation!! Congratulations!!
As your night unfolds and tears are shed, hugs are given, and smiles are shining, I want each of you to be sponges and absorb every last one of those smiles, hugs and tears.
As you step into your future and the weeks, months, and years go by and you hit a snag and it feels too hard too much or you can’t – Remember to use that sponge; it will give you that one smile that one feeling of a hug that you need to take your next step.
Every single one of you has shown me, your families, the community and the world that you don’t quit and how strong you are. You each have fought and won a battle that most people don’t have to fight or face until much later in life if at all and you succeeded by bonding together, gaining strength from those around you, and by standing your ground (shaky as it may have been) and continued through towards tonight. Hold on to that and use that throughout your lives.
Some of you I have seen and talked to a lot over this last year, others not so much and some just a smile when we run into each other, but I want you to know that every single one of you are simply AMAZING and that I am so proud of your strength. There is a very, very special place in my heart for each and every one of you. You all have given me love, support and strength to continue on each day. Now I want to give back that same gift to each of you. I give to you each a part of my heart to take with you on your life’s journey.
God Bless You
And don’t just shoot for the moon shoot for it all!!
Celia Costanzo